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Put your head on hold

October 21st, 2007 Jonathan Payne 3 comments

Spending a lot of time in the hospital has had an interesting effect on me.  I think the effect has been multi-faceted.  I'm not sure if it is a by-product of the stress that we have been under since we found out about Elliot's diagnosis, way back in the 20th week of pregnancy, or if it's just related to not working certain parts of my brain during our long hospital stays. 

For instance, as we were faced with more and more issues to overcome and negative doctor's reports, the more my vocabulary suffered.  Strange I know, but it's true.  I really struggle with getting "stuck" on a word now.  It's a little embarrassing, especially when I have to give a presentation in front of the board of directors for the bank that I work for.  I mean, we're talking the CEO, CFO, COO and everyone else of importance of a publicly traded company and I can't get the word "inventory" out of my mouth.  Instead I'm reduced to saying, "uh, buildings…and uh, infrastructure… moving on…".

That's just one example.  Easy words that I know and use quite often, I can't think of, they elude me and I'm stuck trying to describe the word to someone and it only goes downhill from there.  

In Philadelphia, during our two month stay, I was a voracious cross-word puzzler.  Hoping to keep my mind sharp for when I did go back to work.  Unfortunately, I'm not sure that it worked.  Getting back to work feels like swimming through cotton.  Lovely.

So I'm trying to work through my head issues, but I don't know if I'm seeing much success.  I should read something, a book, not a magazine.  I tried reading "The Invisible Man" at CHOP, but it was lost on me.  I got about half-way through it and got bored.

I'm thinking about The Kite Runner.  Yeah, that sounds good.  However, I don't have it right now….so maybe just one more game of CounterStrike.   :)

Are you in a mental rut?

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